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Sunday
10/22/17
 
The OT (HD, TV-PG) Analysts and experts, including former NFL players and coaches, break down the action from all of the day's games and discuss the top stories in the league.
SPRINGFIELD OF DREAMS: The Legend of Homer Simpson (HD, New, TV-PG)
Mom A Small Nervous Breakdown and a Misplaced Fork (HD, TV-14) Christy prepares to go out on her first dating attempt since she gave up drinking; Bonnie takes it upon herself to teach her grandson Roscoe how to gamble.
Mom Loathing and Tube Socks (HD, TV-14) Christy's patience begins to wear thin as she is bothered by almost every person that she knows; Bonnie has a chance encounter with an old rival.
Sports Connection
 
Monday
10/23/17
 
Maury I Recorded My Fiancee Cheating...Who Fathered Her Baby? (Repeat, TV-14) A woman thinks her boyfriend is too flirtatious with other women; a man claims that his girlfriend's infidelity is proof he can't be their child's father.
Mom Forged Resumes and the Recommended Dosage (HD, TV-14) Christy attempts to comprehend why Violet acts so unpredictably, all while Bonnie goes on a job hunt so that she can pay the bills.
Mom Blow and a Free McMuffin (HD, TV-14) Christy and Bonnie come to Violet's aid when she contracts mono, but they find her illness is the least of her concerns after learning new information.
Two and a Half Men It Was 'Mame,' Mom (HD, TV-14) Charlie dupes Alan into masquerading as his gay life-partner in order to win the approval of a party-throwing homosexual advertising agency owner.
Two and a Half Men A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping Noise (HD, TV-14) Awestruck Alan attempts to date one of Charlie's former flames, but struggles as he becomes obsessed with the fact that Charlie was with her first.
 
Tuesday
10/24/17
 
Maury The DNA Tests Will Prove You Have 14 Children! (Repeat, TV-14) A boyfriend and his mother deny that he is the father of four children; a woman asks for a DNA test to prove if her boyfriend is the father of their child.
Mom Kimchi and a Monkey Playing Harmonica (HD, TV-14) Christy feels conflicted about Baxter's newly established relationship with Candace; Bonnie and Alvin's passion seems to intensify.
Mom Xanax and a Baby Duck (HD, TV-14) After finding out Roscoe has been experimenting with drugs and alcohol, Christy reacts by keeping her 12-year-old under constant surveillance.
Two and a Half Men Does This Smell Funny to You? (HD, TV-14) Unbeknownst to Charlie, his latest fling is the trophy wife of a now-irate old man; Jake recounts his adult-themed weekend to his classmates.
Two and a Half Men Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts (HD, TV-14) Alan falls from a ladder while fixing the television reception; Charlie agrees to watch Jake, but regrets his decision when Jake blows his chance with a woman.
 
Wednesday
10/25/17
 
Maury Did The Man I Love Try To Sleep With My Sister? (Repeat, TV-14) A woman believes her relationship soured soon after getting married; a woman tries to prove that she was faithful to her husband and he is their kid's father.
Mom Crazy Eyes and a Wet Brad Pitt (HD, TV-14) Christy and Bonnie agree to accompany Jill during her first night out of treatment, and are wined and dined with everything they could possibly ask for.
Mom Cornbread and a Cashmere Onesie (HD, TV-14) Christy and Bonnie grow concerned for Jill as she copes with her loss on the anniversary of her mother's suicide.
Two and a Half Men Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover (HD, TV-14) Jake is suspended from school for drawing an inappropriate picture of a classmate with large breasts; Alan attempts to convince the principal not to expel Jake.
Two and a Half Men Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark (HD, TV-14) Alan gets caught lying in order to spend time with Judith in secret; Charlie realizes how much he would miss Jake if Alan and Judith were to get back together.
 
Thursday
10/26/17
 
Maury Is my Best Friend the Father of my Girlfriend's Baby? (New, TV-14) A woman hopes to convince her lifelong best friend is the father of her daughter; a man claims that he was told his ex-girlfriend's child was another man's.
Mom Soapy Eyes and a Clean Slate (HD, TV-14) Christy sets out to fix the wrongs of her past, but is oblivious where Baxter is concerned; Bonnie tells Alvin about all the awful things she has done to him.
Mom Freckled Bananas and a Little Schwinn (HD, TV-14) Adam becomes concerned about Christy and Bonnie's morality after they begin to fall back on old habits, committing illegal activities.
Two and a Half Men Your Dismissive Attitude Towards Boobs (HD, TV-14) Berta temporarily moves into the beach house and begins scheming to rupture Charlie and Alan's relationship; Evelyn helps Alan look for a new place.
Two and a Half Men Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank (HD, TV-14) Walden finds himself going out and partying with Jenny and her attractive friends; Alan and Lyndsey's illicit relationship is put into peril.
 
Friday
10/27/17
 
Maury I Left My Husband For a Younger Man...is He Now Cheating? (New, TV-14) A man's claims that his cheating ways are behind him come into suspicion; an ex-girlfriend tries to warn her ex's current girlfriend about his infidelity.
Mom Free Therapy and a Dead Lady's Yard Sale (HD, TV-PG) Bonnie and Christy find out that Violet is cheating on Luke, and when they agree to attend a therapy session with her, a painful family secret is exposed.
Mom A Safe Word and a Rib Eye (HD, TV-14) Bonnie and her friends keep Jill's pregnancy test results a secret from Christy, who believes the wall of secrecy corresponds with her birthday or bad haircut.
Two and a Half Men Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop (HD, TV-14) Charlie sleeps with Rose again only to have her father show up the next day demanding to know what Charlie's plans are for his daughter.
Two and a Half Men Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003 (HD, TV-14) Alan makes friends with Lyndsey's boyfriend in an effort to find out what he has that Alan doesn't; Walden helps Jenny be more proactive with her acting career.
 
Saturday
10/28/17
« College Football Penn State Nittany Lions at Ohio State Buckeyes from Ohio Stadium (HD) College football teams from around the country will intensely compete against one another, as expert analysts give play-by-play commentary.
 
 
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5 PM
5:30 PM
Sunday
10/29/17
« NFL Football Chicago Bears at New Orleans Saints from Mercedes-Benz Superdome (HD, TV-PG)
NFL Football Dallas Cowboys at Washington Redskins from FedEx Field (HD, TV-PG)
Monday
10/30/17
 
Maury (New, TV-14) A cheeringly compassionate journalist helps bring families and friends together to learn how to set aside their differences to work towards a common goal.
Mom Godzilla and a Sprig of Mint (HD, TV-14) While spending an evening alone, Christy runs into her handsome, single neighbor, Andy; Alvin's ex-wife, Lorraine, spoils Bonnie and Alvin's romantic plans.
Mom Roast Chicken and a Funny Story (HD, TV-14) A heartbroken Bonnie is driving everyone up the wall, so Christy sets to to beg Adam to take her back so that she will stop making everyone lose their minds.
Two and a Half Men That Voodoo That I Do Do (HD, TV-14) Charlie dupes Jake into taking ballet so that he may pursue the sultry instructor, but his plan goes amiss when ironically Jake falls for her himself.
Two and a Half Men Madame and Her Special Friend (HD, TV-14) Courteous Alan befriends Charlie's elderly neighbor with innocent and platonic intentions, but awkwardness abounds when she attempts to seduce him.
 
Tuesday
10/31/17
 
Maury (New, TV-14) A cheeringly compassionate journalist helps bring families and friends together to learn how to set aside their differences to work towards a common goal.
Mom Nudes and a Six-Day Cleanse (HD, TV-14) Christy transitions towards a new career after she realizes that she has been a waitress for far too long; Bonnie and Alvin attempt to relive their youth.
Mom Night Swimmin' and an English Muffin (HD, TV-14) Bonnie makes the discovery that Adam still has a close relationship with his ex-wife and Christy is worried that this information threatens Bonnie's sobriety.
Two and a Half Men Ergo, The Booty Call (HD, TV-14) Alan is elated to be dating a 22-year-old babe, but he doesn't want her attending Jake's birthday party; Jake mistakes Alan's "performance" pills for vitamins.
Two and a Half Men The Unfortunate Little Schnauser (HD, TV-14) Though he is nominated for a jingle writing award, Charlie refuses to attend the ceremony because he knows his brazen nemesis will inevitably win.
 
Wednesday
11/1/17
 
Maury (New, TV-14) A cheeringly compassionate journalist helps bring families and friends together to learn how to set aside their differences to work towards a common goal.
Mom Three Smiles and an Unpainted Ceiling (HD, TV-14) Just as Alvin is moving into the apartment across the courtyard, he unexpectedly passes away, leaving the Plunkett family severely shaken.
Mom Black Mold and an Old Hot Dog (HD, TV-14) Jill becomes a foster mother, but her lack of motherly instincts shows; Bonnie has difficulties convincing tenants to believe she's good building manager.
Two and a Half Men Golly Moses, She's a Muffin (HD, TV-14) Charlie is annoyed to find that Kandi has been living in his house for some time without him knowing, but is even more distraught by his own sexual dry spell.
Two and a Half Men Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro (HD, TV-14) Alan attempts to win Kandi back after she leaves him and moves in with Judith; Charlie adds Kandi's mother to his laundry-list of sexual conquests.
 
Thursday
11/2/17
 
Maury (New, TV-14) A cheeringly compassionate journalist helps bring families and friends together to learn how to set aside their differences to work towards a common goal.
Mom Kitty Litter and a Class A Felony (HD, TV-14) Christy attempts to compensate for Bonnie's bad behavior following the tragic loss of a loved one, but she is trying to cope with the grief herself.
Mom Tantric Sex and the Sprouted Flute (HD, TV-14) Christy soon begins to annoy everybody when she adopts a healthier lifestyle; Bonnie and Adam feel they are ready to take their relationship to another level.
Two and a Half Men And the Plot Moistens (HD, TV-14) Alan forms a platonic relationship with Jake's teacher, as he enjoys the intelligent conversation they share; Charlie helps Jake rehearse for his school play.
Two and a Half Men Justice In Star-Spangled Hot Pants (HD, TV-14) After learning of his connection to Lynda Carter, Alan asks Walden to set the two of them up on a date, leading Walden to invite her to their house for dinner.
 
Friday
11/3/17
 
Maury (New, TV-14) A cheeringly compassionate journalist helps bring families and friends together to learn how to set aside their differences to work towards a common goal.
Mom Cheeseburger Salad and Jazz (HD, TV-14) Christy takes Bonnie to see a professional about her state of mind after she becomes concerned with the way Bonnie is handling Alvin's death.
Mom A Cricket and a Hedge Made of Gold (HD, TV-14) When Marjorie temporarily leaves the group, everybody goes to Bonnie with their problems; Christy struggles to move on from an unpleasant memory.
Two and a Half Men Just Once With Aunt Sophie (HD, TV-14) When Charlie starts giving Jake advice for his first boy-girl party, Alan feels jealous that his brother never shared any similar advice with him.
Two and a Half Men Some Kind Of Lesbian Zombie (HD, TV-14) Walden and Alan both find dates with two ideal women, until jealousy begins to ruin their plans.
 
Saturday
11/4/17
 
College Football Teams TBA (HD) College football teams from around the country will intensely compete against one another, as expert analysts give play-by-play commentary.
 
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